Sometimes the danger of networking is that it reveals some hidden truths or mysteries...
Two years ago, I approached a friend of mine to find out whether he could introduce me to the president of his company. I had know P. for about 8 years in a variety of capacities (sports, Toastmasters) and felt we had a good enough rapport for me to ask him for a referral. I had just started working for my current company and needed to make some connections.
My take on word-of-mouth networking is that it's all about your personality, not your company or product. If you have proved your worth as a "good guy" or "nice person" then your friends and associates know you won't embarass them or endanger their relationships by introducing you to their contacts.
This is how the conversation went:
Dave: You work for ______________, don't you?
P: Yes.
(I asked a series of questions about his company, their products, their challenges etc)
Dave: You know, I would really like to do business with your company, is there a chance you could ask your boss to if he would take my call and give me a few minutes of his time? I don;t expect you to sell me or my product, but is it possible for you to give me an introduction?
P: I don't feel comfortable doing that.
Dave: Oh. Is there a reason why not?
P: I don't feel comfortable doing that.
Dave: OK
Today, I lectured at Seneca College and afterward had a student ask me a similar question. She mentioned she had asked her friends if they would introduce her to their bosses and their response was: "Sure, you can call them, but don't use my name."
How do YOU interpret the "don't use my name" response?
(I'll give you my answer after I read a few of your responses)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
These days the only referrals that REALLY do something are what I have heard referred to as "warm" referrals. That is where someone is willing to "stand up" for you and take a PERSONAL risk to his ongoing relations with the person he's referring you to and say to his connection "This is a good person. Give him/her some of your time (for me). (S)He's got a good thing going on and it could be of use to you to know him/her". ANYTHING short of that is in the category of "damned by fait praise" in my view. Now CLEARLY everyone cannot do this for everyone they know who comes up and asks a favor. I would say, Dave that if this were to happen to me I would thank the person who said that for their frankness, note the REAL type of relationship that existed there (not the one I THOUGHT I had) and move on. There simply isn't enough time in our lives for anything else.
It sounds like those people don't have enough of a rapport with their boss themselves, let alone enough of one to be able to introduce others to their boss.
Whether that reflects on your contact's ability to network within their own organization, the culture of said organization, or some combination thereof, it might be hard to say.
Hi Guys - great points - in a sales perspective, your associate not wanting to refer you would be known as an objection to to an attempted close. And the great challenge is to determine exactly what the objection is.
The conclusion to my own story was that I finnally met the "boss" a few years later through coincidence. We had an instant rapport and I ended up doing business with his company. So the issue (in this case at least) was not about me, but rather the relationship of my friend and his boss or company. Sometimes, when people object...it's not about us.
As you said Dave, it's not always about you. So I think a large number of reasons exist. Here are six general but real world examples I can think of:
1) The most common: the politics at the executive level is so thick and employees know it, but do not know the specific dynamics and issues. In those cases, it's better to sit back and let the dust settle.
2) The Executive is the kind of person that you just don't want your name being mentioned to. You know the type - toxic, mean, or prefers that people keep their nose to what they were assigned to do and nothing else.
3) They see that the personality of the Executive and your personality will not gel or may actually be conflicting. That's not something to take personally. It may just be the case. Or they are making an interpretation. People are entitled to their intuition, but they can be wrong. How would they really know? But you have to respect their choice.
4) The person may have their our own personal image that they want to present. So maybe introducing you to the Executive may send the wrong image to the Executive when the person has been trying to foster their own image, such as the "tough as nails budget guy" or the "nerd/geek in a biotech company" (believe it or not that carries cachet in some R&D cultures), or the "supervisor focussed on their own people"...
5) Maybe they don't have enough of a close relationship with the Executive to allow you to use their name. In my own relationship building, it has take a lot of time to build a relationship, and it could still be at a stage where it's not ready to introduce someone.
6) I can also imagine that there may be situations where the Executive may not trust the judgement, or just plain disrespect, that very person you are asking to introduce you to the Executive, and he/she knows the Executive doesn't trust them.
There is a whole bunch of reasons, none of which you should take personally except one: when a lot of people say this "yeah but don't use my name: to you!
[posted anonymously one of my friends - real "a good guy"]
Post a Comment