The most empowering sentence you'll ever use

I have had two conversations over the last two days with "good guys" who were asking me if I knew of any job opportunities in their industry. Both have taken some hard hits lately (employment, family health issues). It's tough enough dealing with all that and then having to go out and network (aka "beg") for leads from friends, family and associates. Talk about a psychological downer. It's the networking equivalent of sitting on the sidewalk with a Tim Hortons coffee cup looking for change. I've been there.

Because I know them both as nice people and "good guys", I opened up my Rolodex and offered to introduce them to lots of great people and vouch for their character.Networking doesn't mean you have to get someone a job or sell their product; it means you offer to get them a conversation. And at the end of my enthusiastic offerings...I waited...waited for them to ask the most important sentence... Neither of them asked.

So, hard-wired coach that I am, I told them about the question:

And what can I do to help you Dave?

Their response to the question was identical: a blank look.

But Dave, I look at you as this really successful guy and there's nothing I can think of that I can offer you!

Hey guys, everyone needs something. Here are a few of my current challenges:

1. I want to write and book and would be interested in talking with folks who have successfully published or have insights into the publishing world.

2. I am building my speaking business and am always looking for opportunities with companies who need a keynote speaker on networking skills.

3. At MAGNES Group, I would always appreciate an introduction to the CFO or president of a life science company

4. I'm looking for the name of a good electrician in the Oakville area (I need some wiring in my house)

5. I am always looking for ways to promote next my marathon class - Howlett's Heavy Breathers http://www.geocities.com/dhowlett2004/running.html

Asking What is your biggest challenge this week and how can I help you? empowers you and lets you put something in the emotional bank. I appreciate it and so will others.

No matter how low you feel, you possess experiences and contacts that others value.

It turns out one of my friends worked formerly as a car salesman. He said he would be happy to give some tips on car-buying to any business associates of mine. In fact, he could go to a GTA dealrership in person and help them negotiate the price of a new car!

The other friend is a master salesperson in the spa industry and can get me a great “insider price” price for any of my clients and friends who wants to buy a hot tub.

I can use them both to add and reinforce relationships with my customers and clients (and all of you!). That really helps me!

We all have something to offer, we just need to be reminded of that.

The 4th Element

I live in a society that is designed to continually cater to my personal needs. Every day I receive a myriad of marketing messages telling me how I can look younger, stay fitter, be more wealthy and have more sex. If I give in to those missives, I'd be a wrinkle-free, tight-abbed social dilettante. But something would be missing.

Word of mouth is what people say about me when I'm are not in the room. There are 4 elements of being "a good guy" and the 4th is altruism. Giving back. Thinking about others. Caring about the big picture and about others who "aren't in the room."

This Saturday November 11 is Remembrance Day in Canada. Buy and wear a poppy this week. It will let people know you possess that 4th element. Even better, buy a number of poppies and hand them out to friends and associates this week. You will find they are grateful for your thoughtfulness. This was a great suggestion offered up by Diana Birrell of The James Fund (our charity benefactor from last week's Knocking down Silos in Toronto) .

A final thought: When I served in the Canadian Navy, we had a tradition of a toast for every day of the week:

Monday: To our ships
Tuesday: To our men
Wednesday: To ourselves
Thursday: To bloody wars or a sickly season [a chance of promotion if senior officers died!]
Friday: To a willing foe and sea room
Saturday: To wives and lovers
Sunday: To absent friends

When you send your 2 cards this week, think about some absent friends.

Help a Student - they will get you much more in return

People seeking opportunities to network in industry often focus on meeting decision makers and senior management. Building a CRM usually ignores those who are new to industry or perceived to be "without power." Students are generally never thought of as contributors.

However students are an excellent way for the average businessperson to make entry into certain markets (e.g. biotech, finance, accounting, engineering). They present a number of advantages: easy accessibility, knowledge of industry issues, connections via co-op programs to certain companies and alumni. There are also many opportunities to interact and meet students; colleges and universities are continually trying to build bridges to industry.

This is a win-win situation.

Students are appreciative of the opportunity to talk with an industry service provider and usually want one thing: a warm referral to an individual or company. The service provider can then turn a cold call to a prospect account into a request for an informational interview. This changes the perception of the caller from "salesperson" to "helper." In fact, very senior management often take the time to talk to those trying to help a student new to their industry.

In many cases, students end up being "information brokers" to the business person.. Inevitably they will be employed. Everyone remembers the person who helped them in the beginning. The goodwill generated guarantees great connections with their companies.

Try this for a week.

Great word of mouth only comes when people are happy with you. Your resume. Your service. Your appearance. Canadians are tremendously bad at complaining - they don't tell you what you are doing wrong, they just walk away and tell other people.

e.g. I know a really nice guy who has introduced me to some really important people. But over the last month, everytime he would send me an e-mail, it was marked "high importance" (with the little red exclamation mark). Of course I would read it right away and it would drive me nuts that it wasn't of ultimate importance. It seemed he was always yelling wolf on the internet!

Because he's a good guy, I added this to the bottom of an email:

BTW - could I offer a suggestion? You mark many of your emails as "high importance." I'm not sure if you do this a lot but it may dilute the effectiveness of your emails to people. Just a suggestion. D.

Here is his response:

Actually Dave, It may be happening more inadvertently rather than on purpose and thanks for bringing it to my notice bud; I will be more guarded.

--------------

Try this for a week:

Ask 10 of your associates or clients: "If I could do one thing better, what would it be?"
Then listen.

Did you fall off the wagon?

Are you still sending two cards a week?


Nothing is the world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education alone will note; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

- Calvin Coolidge

2 problems - 2 solutions

No one returning your calls? No one leaving comments on your blog site? Feeling isolated and unappreciated?

Two suggestions:

1. People will often remember you based on your outside interests (e.g. what you do for fun on weekends). They may either have the same interest or just find you darned fascinating. And if you aren't interetesting or fascinating - get up off the couch and do something!

2. People will contribute to your life and your blog if you provide them a forum for discussion and interface.

Check out http://howlettsheavybreathers.blogspot.com/ and read the comments.

How a photograph can get you remembered (and appreciated)

Heading to a conference? Trying to find a way to "keep in touch" and "add value" when you follow-up so a luminary speaker remembers you? Rita Bauer is manager of media services at the University of Toronto and is also an international speaker on digital photography. Five years ago, we were presenting at a seminar together and Rita passed along a great idea that I had forgotten until this week. She suggested most speakers at conferences never have photographs of themselves and are appreciative when someone takes to time to follow-up with a frame or two.

I was presenting a Knocking down Silos evening in Waterloo on Oct 3 and received this very nice email from one of the students afterwards. Attached were two digital photos he had taken for my records. I immediately called him and thanked him for his thoughtfulness.

Want to stand out from the crowd? Think about carrying a camera with you to that next seminar.



------------

Dear Mr. Howlett:
First of all I wanted to say a personal thank you for coming to University of Waterloo again after the Science and Business the Driving Force Conference and speak at Knocking Down Silos last week. We as the Science and Business Students' Association had been planning, coordinating and marketing about this event since summer, but it would not have been such a great success without your truly insightful and awakening lessons.
Although the time was brief, it was a sheer pleasure having to chat you one on one and walk with you to your car. You spoke about your upcoming KDS event in November at University of Toronto with the Institute of Medical Science Students Association and I have been promoting this event to my University of Toronto friends ever since. As well, emails were sent to the many accounting professionals I've met and kept in contact with from all the accounting firm information sessions during my first university year. One thing I kept on forgetting mentioning to you actually, was that your friend Mr. Ronnie Tam from PriceWaterhouseCoopers LLP recommended Knocking Down Silos and your to me at beginning of year 2006; it had been one of the main incentives for I to become involved with SBSA and the Conference ever since, having able to get "front row seat" for your speeches.
Is there anything else I can do for you for the time being? I will be updating the SBSA website <www.sbsa.uwaterloo.ca> very soon with the pictures taken at KDS. You are more than welcome to hyperlink our site and use the pictures for your own purposes. For now, there are two representative pictures attached, one is you and the group. Enjoy!


Sincerely yours,
Han Shu
2A Biotech/Chartered Accountancy CIO -SBSA www.hanshu.uwsbsa.ca

"To get you have to give" - or do people consider you a threat?

In today's Globe and Mail:

"There is a widespread belief that ruthless and self-centred people are the most successful when it comes to their careers. But being prepared to do anything to get ahead does not mean you will succeed in your ambitions," contends Stefan Einhorn, author of the recently published The Art of Being Kind. The author is chairman of the ethics council at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden. He believes that generosity toward others can lead us to succeeding in life because a generous person is not regarded as a threat.

1. "When people do not perceive any competition, they themselves stop competing and instead start to co-operate, which everyone benefits from," he says.

2. Another reason, he suggests, is that if we are generous toward those around us, they will be generous in return.

3. And a third reason to be generous is that we get pleasure from it.

Source: The London Observer

A great phrase for a bad habit

I just got off the phone with Patricia Diver, Career Coach from McMaster Univeristy. Patricia attended one of my Knocking down Silos events 2 weeks ago at McMaster, and was good enough to follow up.

Patricia commented that most people make the mistake of employing "transactional networking." They assume great word of mouth is generated purely as a result of one or more successful transactions. A great phrase for a bad habit!

In reality, great word of mouth is generated from a) being different b) exceeding client expectations and c) keeping in touch and d) being an "A" friend.

Thanks Patricia!

"Knocking down Silos" as a business development tool

Many of the industry associates I know use "Knocking down Silos" as a business development tool. Can I show you how to do this as well? It may help you get more sales or receive that great job offer.

If you have been to a "Knocking down Silos" event, you know it is an interactive evening that reviews the basics of proper networking behaviour. Hundreds of people show up to learn how to increase their effectiveness in the business (and personal) world. I use examples from many industries and cultures. Every 20 minutes, people have to turn to the person next to them and ask key questions (e.g. "what's your biggest challenge and how can I help you?). Here is a video preview.

Who would you like sitting next to you when they ask you that question? Then invite them!

1. Download the PDF of the November 2 KDS event. This event is filling fast, please ensure you have registered).

2. Send the PDF to people you either know or wish to get to know better. These could be clients, prospects, key industry people, potential bosses.

You can simply forward the email with your endorsement. Here's an paraphrased email I saw come across my desk 2 weeks ago from Peter West:

“Normally I don’t send out these types of flyers to marketing events, but I will make an exception for Howlett’s talk on networking skills called “Knocking down Silos” He donates the gate to charity and it's well worth the evening.

Here's another on a bulletin board by Jim Love - another "good guy!"

"If you haven't seen Howlett on Networking, you have missed something.He's doing a benefit engagement in Toronto on November 2nd. You maystill be able to get seats. Mention my name. It might help."

OR

You can ask a few clients to come as your personal guests. Of course, you will need to pick up the entry fee. (a small donation to the James Fund).

3. Sit next to your key people and watch what happens.

The best part of this strategy is that even if your people can't make it to KDS, getting an invitation from you lets them know you were thinking about them. (it keeps you top of mind). And that's one of the best ways to get great word of mouth...offering value when you touch someone... being an "A" friend! Below are a few emails that you may get from your clients afterwards.

I really enjoyed Dave's talk and I learned some very useful ways of thinking about how I interact with people. Thanks for sending me the invitation.

I am writing this email to thank you for inviting me to Dave's Talk. It was a wonderful, professional, and enthusiastic presentation in McMaster University last night.

Networking has always been a little scary for me. I always have a hard time knowing where to start and what approach to take. I am definitely going to be giving out more compliments now! Thanks for bugging me to go.

That was an amazing speech Tuesday night. Man, it was as long as a feature Hollywood film! It's amazing that he can find enough content to keep people engaged like that.

"Call these guys...use my name"

Last week, I was one of the sponsors of Toronto Biotech Initiative's second annual Research to Revenue seminar. This was a forum where CEOs, CFOs and CSOs from the biotechnology sector met to discuss and network to drive through their commercialization strategies.

One of the presenters was by Michael Denny, managing partner of Westwind Partners. Michael is a captivating speaker and had some key messages for anyone trying to gain influence.

- are you interested in being #1 or are you serious about being #1? The difference is self-discipline and execution.

- you should have a memorable pitch that sums you or your company up in one sentence. e.g. Chrondrogene is going to diagnose colon cancer from a drop of blood rather than a colonoscopy. [now that's memorable!]

- Michael told a revealing story about a founder of a new Canadian life science company. He was trying to raise capital from American Venture Capitalists. Rather than the standard cold-calls or unsolicited submisssions, he phoned 2 influential friends in New York and Los Angeles. Both gave him phone numbers of key US VC with the instructions "call these guys, use my name." Concurrently, he also sent out a number of unsolicited submissions to other VCs. None of the latter resulted in interviews or investments but the referred VCs ended up in a "pile-on" of capital as they were all competing to invest in his new company. Same company...different response.

What can we all learn from Michael's presentation?

1. Don't waste peoples' time. Get serious about what you want. When I talk about the 4 attributes of "a good guy" - reliability and accountability is the area many people need to improve.

2. If you can't be first - be different.

3. Reputation matters. Being "a good guy" will open doors and may results in millions of dollars. And it's all about POI> People first, objects second, ideas third.

Sign up for for the November 2 talk - practise these concepts and let's figure out a way to keep Canada's knowledge-based companies in Canada!

Left side - Right Side : Idiot or Hypocrite?

Becoming "a good guy" or "a good person" is really the essence of good networking.

Do you want a client, friend or associate to be your advocate? Someone to vouch for you? Open up their Rolodex? Pass along your resume? Attach their reputation to yours? Then you need to exemplify the 4 characteristics of knowledge, personality, reliability and altrusim.

On the other hand, if you want to ensure you never receive good word of mouth - just emulate the characters identified in the recent article by Jessica Leeder and Robert Cribb from the Toronto Star
about driving school instructors with unpaid fines and driving demerits.

One instructor argues that his poor driving record doesn't detract from his ability to teach and inspire others:

"When I'm sitting on the right side of the car, I'm a much different person. When I'm sitting in the driver's seat, I'm just like a normal driver," he said.

I have news for you pal...people talk. And if you're preaching one thing in front of your customers and doing something else in your spare time...then you're vacillating between being a hypocrite and an idiot.

Neither of which makes me your advocate.

Lost in Translation

The purpose of networking is to generate a good impression and have people pass you along the line. But the danger of networking via word of mouth is that sometimes your message gets "lost in translation".

When associates say they they would be happy to introduce me to someone, they always ask:

"What do you want me to tell them about you?"

I always respond:

"Just tell them I'm a good guy, I'm an expert in their field and can I chat with them for about 5 minutes on the phone?"

If you ask your friend or associate to explain too much about you... your message may get lost in translation and you will never get that chat!

I used translate.google.com to give you an idea of what happens if you get your friend to translate:

1. Dear Dave,

Dear dave,
I was wondering if you could introduce me to your associate at GSK? I am a hard working person who has a Masters of Biotechnology degree and has a special interest in toxicology. I would like to combine business and science and perhaps get into a business development role iin Ontario or British Columbia. I don;t want to work in a lab as I find the conditions very boring and they do not challenge me much. I haven't had much success getting people to return my phone calls, I think this is because too many people are applying for these positions. This is really urgent as I need to find some work soon and am getting really frustrated. Please also ask your friend if the hiring cycle is now on. Please also tell your friend that I am enthusiastic and also worked for 5 years with a medium sized pharma company in Quebec where I helped develop some early stage generic drugs.

Thanks, Steve

(translate to Chinese)

2. 亲爱的菲, 不知你能支持我在美推出. 我奋斗的人掌握了技术,特别关心程度中毒. 我把科技企业或进入企业发展的作用和不列颠哥伦比亚省Iin. 我穿上. t要在实验室工作,我感到非常沉闷的情况,我不挑战很大. 我没什么成功使人们回到我的电话,就是因为太多人申请该职位. 这是我迫切需要尽快找到工作,让我很失望. 也请朋友提出,现在雇用周期. 也请告诉你们的朋友,我也积极努力,5年中型公司1049pharma,我培养出一些早期非专利药物. 由于Steve

(translate back to English)

3. Dear Philippines, launched in the United States, if you will support me. I who have struggled to master the technology, in particular concern poisoning. I role in the development of science and technology enterprises or enterprises and the Province of British Columbia, Iin. I wear. T to work in the laboratory, I am very boring, I am not an enormous challenge. I have nothing to ensure the success of returning my calls. This is because too many people for the jobs. This is the urgent need to find jobs as quickly as possible, so I am very disappointed. Please also note that the employment cycle now. also tell your friend, I would make positive efforts to medium-sized companies 1049pharma five years, I was able to cultivate some of the earliest generic drugs. As Steve

Putting things in perspective

Given today's date - I thought you might want to read a note I sent to my running class. While you are reading it, substitute your current goal for "marathon" and you'll find it helps put things in perspective.

Your outreach Document!

Whether we are looking for employment or new business, we should all have an "Outreach Document" in our briefcases.

Sample question: "Do you know of any opportunities for me?"

Reaction: "Uhhh...sorry"

Better question: "Can you take a look at this list and see if you know anyone from any of these companies?"

Reaction: "Let me look at your list...OK...my cousin works at this company, my wife's boss used to work at this one and I actually golfed with the CFO from this company last month - I had a great time, although he beat me by 5 strokes!"

Dorothea Schramm and Dave Freeman (both marketing whizzes) are responsible for me being able to offer this Outreach Document for you to use. I have left it in Word format so you can customize it and carry it with you! Thanks Dorothea and Dave. To get you have to give and you both have given generously.

Why doesn't anyone return my email? An article in today's Globe and Mail

...a new survey which found that 80 per cent of U.S. executives believe they receive too much regular communication every day from both internal and external sources. To cope, they are increasingly looking for ways to filter out non-essential e-mails, voicemail, memos and messages, according to the survey of 237 senior executives and managers....*

Remember to: Pass the POI. People respond best to People, then Objects, then Ideas. No email will ever be as effective as your personality in selling yourself or your product. A warm referral is better than the most effective email.

Want to read the article? Go to www.globeandmail.com and search for "Is anyone really listening?"

An email from a nice person - and my response

Dear Dave,

My friend, [________ _____] spoke very highly of you and suggested that I contact you. I'm finishing my PhD in pharmacokinetics, and I'm starting my job search. I was wondering if you could give me some names of specific people in the PK/PD field that I could contact? I'm hoping to be able to work in the GTA, but anything, anywhere in Canada would be of tremendous help!

Thanks very much,
__________

Dear ________,

Thanks for your email - I'd be delighted to help you but first, may I ask a favour? Please go to my blog site and read through the postings - starting in March 2006. http://davehowlett.blogspot.com/ They outline my way of helping people (e.g. I can't get you a job, just an introduction, I also can't introduce you to someone unless I know what company you want an introduction to).

I'm afraid I don't know a lot about PK/PD but do have a lot of connections with many different companies in many different industries.

You may also consider coming to one of our huge networking nights this Fall in Hamilton, Waterloo and Toronto (see below). You'll have fun, learn a lot about networking and meet some great people! If you can't make it, I am producing a DVD based on the last 2.5 hour evening - let me know if you want to get one.

And please me know when you've finished your homework!

Cheers,

Dave

Networking Tip of the Week at http://davehowlett.blogspot.com/

Hamilton
Knocking down Silos Networking Night - benefits "McMaster Bread Bin"
September 26, 2006
To register: http://www.mcmaster.ca/ua/alumni/students/
events.cfm#knocking_down_silos

Waterloo
Knocking down Silos Networking Night - benefits "Sunshine Dreams for Kids"
October 3, 2006
To register: http://www.sbsa.uwaterloo.ca/kds

Toronto
Knocking down Silos Networking Night
November 2, 2006 - save the date!

What goes around - comes around.

Dave talks about going outside your comfort zone. The other day, I pulled a "Dave Howlett" and talked to a stranger...something I had never done before.
I am a senior claims adjuster with over 20 years in the insurance industry.
In 2003, I was transferred from Ottawa to Mississauga and looking for ways to meet people in our Oakville community. I had taken some running classes with the Running Room in Ottawa and thought I could meet some runners through the local Running Room store, but it's not easy to make new friends and I ran alone most of the time.

One Sunday a large group of joggers came up behind me and the next thing I knew, this smiling guy was chatting with me. We discovered we had both lived in Ottawa and discussed places and people we knew. He invited me to run with his group, later I discovered that he was teaching the marathon clinic at the store. It's been 2 years since then, I am on my 5th clinic, one of the group leaders and we have made terrific friends in the Oakville community.

So now I get to "pay it forward" - watch out if you are jogging on your own!

To get, you have to give...how about the gift of a smile?

Another way of keeping in touch with people (and keep on their radar screen) is something many of us do instinctively ...we send them a joke or a small movie to make them smile. They send this on in turn to friends and family.

Just like everything else though, it has to be personal and applicable. Sending one to a person with a brief header telling them you were thinking of them and that the attachment might cheer up their day...can be very powerful.

Need an example? Go to http://www.geocities.com/dhowlett2004/mypage.html ... listen to the little song about a cubicle. Save it on your computer. Then think about who you can send it to (someone who works in an office?) This way, when you contact them later, you have something to chuckle over...and you gave them the gift of a smile.

I was wondering if you could help a friend?

Dear Dave,

I have a connection favour to ask...Attached is a resume from a friend of mine who is looking for employment..she is a hardworking and decent person who is truly in need of employment..any employment after the ending of a personal partnership and the resulting turmoil that creates. I offered to email you. I understand if you are not able to assist her with the "famous five" connection you are infamous for! She has a varied background but would love to work for...

Signed Helpful Friend

Dear Friend,

It's great to hear from you! Can you ask your friend to contact me directly please? Between you and me, I have stopped doing a lot of networking for 3rd parties. I have found much gets lost in the translation and sometimes the enthusiasm comes from the middle party, not the person who needs the opportunity or job. (I really see this with parents of kids looking for employment.)

Besides, networking takes courage and the easiest first step is to call someone who is offering to help you. That’s actually my first filter and you would be surprised how many times I never get a call from the person who needed the help (it happened 3 times last month).

I know you understand this type of thing and compliments to you again for your generosity in helping people. Tell her to please contact me with her "wish list" and we'll put the wheels in motion!

Dave

PS Please tell your friend that I’m doing more Knocking Down Silo events this Fall – details are at www.davehowlett.com